Friday, January 15, 2016

Frodo Bloggins

Man, I'm clever.

Also, though, not really clever enough to figure out how to use a blog. MUH BEEZY. Like, it took me approximately a million years to figure out how to set this thing up and get the layout I wanted and what-not. I guess you could call me tech-savvy. Or not, because no one has ever called me that. DREAM BIG.

So in the title of this blog, I promised awkward stories. And if nothing else, I am a deliverer. Not in a baby or pizza kind of way, but in a metaphoric way. If I tell you I'm going to do something, there is definitely a 50% chance that I will do the thing. BOOM. DELIVERER.

(Also, let me just apologize upfront for my weird sense of humor.)

So there I was. And by there, I mean in my bed at 11 o'clock a.m. because I have laryngitis and I'm a big baby and everything hurts, so like... Why would I even ever leave my bed? (Disclaimer: I AM OUT OF BED RIGHT NOW. Stop screaming at me and calling me lazy!! Heh.) Anyway, I'm all cozy in my bed, minding my own snapchats.... And I happen to look at my friend Amber's Snap Story. She's a total babe and in shape because she wasn't in her bed eating chocolate like certain people that also totally aren't me. (Fine. Me.) She had posted a post-workout selfie (round of applause to her because my whole life is pre-workout) and so I sent her a snap saying "Your abs are looking๐Ÿ‘Œ๐Ÿ‘Œ๐Ÿ‘Œ".

I'm sure Amber loved it except for WAIT, I ACCIDENTALLY DIDN'T SEND IT TO AMBER. I 100% sent it to my ex-boyfriend.

Excuse me, but what do you even do in that situation? "HEY REMEMBER ME I'M MARRIED NOW but HEYYYYY!" (What that snap probably was translated to by my ex.) Frantically, I was like, "HAHAHA wrong person. Meant to send to my friend Amber." Had to make sure he knew it was a girl and that I am a faithful wife and I love my husband and I don't stare at other guys' abs.

Anyway, my ex actually thought it was funny and didn't file a harassment suit against me, so I guess everything worked out fine in the end.

But I think I really learned a valuable lesson today... Check before you snap. But mostly my advice is just don't date until you're married because you'll accidentally send weird stuff to people you haven't talked to in a year. You should probably go write that down somewhere; it's pretty sound advice. You're welcome.

Until next time,