Thursday, May 12, 2016

Proposals and People Who Ruin Them

It's been a while since my last post, and there's good reason for that: I couldn't think of anything to write about. Okay, so maybe that's actually a super lame reason, but it is, much like MC Hammer or perhaps Rod Kimble, legit.

Last night I did something that I often do; something that I'm sure is so endearing and not at all annoying to Jake... I started laughing to myself out of nowhere. When Jake asked what I was laughing at, I can only imagine that my response elevated his self-confidence to an all-time high: "I was thinking about when you proposed."

Now before you start calling me all kinds of names (i.e. "Heartless," "Hateful," "Wartface"), you have to understand that I wasn't laughing at Jake. Jake is honestly perfect and I'm pretty sure God let him marry me so that Jake could more thoroughly understand the suffering of Job. So yeah. Totally not laughing at Jake, I promise.

Rather, I was laughing at what happened WHEN Jake proposed.

So there we were in Coeur d'Alene (NO, I DIDN'T HAVE TO SPELL THAT TWELVE TIMES BEFORE THE RED SQUIGGLY LINE DISAPPEARED) standing on the most beautiful, deserted pier. I'm looking out at the lake and then all the sudden Jake falls overboard. Luckily he was wearing floaties at the time, as he always does around water (including the shower).

Okay, no, that didn't happen. But the pier thing was true; that really is where Jake proposed. So we were standing there and it was sweet and romantic and SUPER cold. Jake is being cute and telling me how much he loves me and I'm pretty sure he said something about how he knew he wanted to marry me after our first date, but honestly it's a little fuzzy because JUST as Jake is getting on one knee, some random middle-to-oldish-aged man (let's call him Bob) decides that this is the time that he will also walk along the pier. Picture this: just as the man I know I want to spend the rest of my life with gets down on one knee, I'm finding it very difficult to look at him because I've just made eye contact with Bob, who is at the top of the stairs leading to the pier. Bob quickly realizes what is going on because HELLO, why else would Jake be on one knee? (Unless he was pretending to be an Oompa Loompa, which I'm sure that Bob immediately ruled out because Jake wasn't painted orange.) Bob, realizing the awkwardness of this situation, slowly starts backing down the stairs (my favorite part of it was that he didn't even turn around; he just went down the steps backward).

Before I know it, Jake is looking at me and I'm like, "Oh... What? I mean, yes!" And then we're hugging and stuff and as soon as we start walking off the pier, Bob comes up again which is awkward because apparently he didn't even leave, he just stood there and listened! AND HE DIDN'T EVEN CONGRATULATE US!! Uh, hello, Bob, you just witnessed a life-changing moment here; I don't think it'd kill you to say, "Hey, sorry for blatantly eavesdropping on an extremely private moment. Congrats, you li'l lovebirds." (That's how I imagine Bob talks.)

So yeah. Contrary to the title, Bob definitely didn't ruin our proposal; he actually made it more memorable and hilarious. I guess what I'm really trying to say here is try to make people as uncomfortable as possible while they're getting engaged... They'll thank you later. Or never. But maybe later.

Until next time,

p.s. To help you visualize, I found a picture of the pier. The yellow arrow is roughly where we were; the red circle is where Bob was. Awkwardness ensued.