Proposals and People Who Ruin Them

It's been a while since my last post, and there's good reason for that: I couldn't think of anything to write about. Okay, so maybe that's actually a super lame reason, but it is, much like MC Hammer or perhaps Rod Kimble, legit.

Last night I did something that I often do; something that I'm sure is so endearing and not at all annoying to Jake... I started laughing to myself out of nowhere. When Jake asked what I was laughing at, I can only imagine that my response elevated his self-confidence to an all-time high: "I was thinking about when you proposed."

Now before you start calling me all kinds of names (i.e. "Heartless," "Hateful," "Wartface"), you have to understand that I wasn't laughing at Jake. Jake is honestly perfect and I'm pretty sure God let him marry me so that Jake could more thoroughly understand the suffering of Job. So yeah. Totally not laughing at Jake, I promise.

Rather, I was laughing at what happened WHEN Jake proposed.

So there we were in Coeur d'Alene (NO, I DIDN'T HAVE TO SPELL THAT TWELVE TIMES BEFORE THE RED SQUIGGLY LINE DISAPPEARED) standing on the most beautiful, deserted pier. I'm looking out at the lake and then all the sudden Jake falls overboard. Luckily he was wearing floaties at the time, as he always does around water (including the shower).

Okay, no, that didn't happen. But the pier thing was true; that really is where Jake proposed. So we were standing there and it was sweet and romantic and SUPER cold. Jake is being cute and telling me how much he loves me and I'm pretty sure he said something about how he knew he wanted to marry me after our first date, but honestly it's a little fuzzy because JUST as Jake is getting on one knee, some random middle-to-oldish-aged man (let's call him Bob) decides that this is the time that he will also walk along the pier. Picture this: just as the man I know I want to spend the rest of my life with gets down on one knee, I'm finding it very difficult to look at him because I've just made eye contact with Bob, who is at the top of the stairs leading to the pier. Bob quickly realizes what is going on because HELLO, why else would Jake be on one knee? (Unless he was pretending to be an Oompa Loompa, which I'm sure that Bob immediately ruled out because Jake wasn't painted orange.) Bob, realizing the awkwardness of this situation, slowly starts backing down the stairs (my favorite part of it was that he didn't even turn around; he just went down the steps backward).

Before I know it, Jake is looking at me and I'm like, "Oh... What? I mean, yes!" And then we're hugging and stuff and as soon as we start walking off the pier, Bob comes up again which is awkward because apparently he didn't even leave, he just stood there and listened! AND HE DIDN'T EVEN CONGRATULATE US!! Uh, hello, Bob, you just witnessed a life-changing moment here; I don't think it'd kill you to say, "Hey, sorry for blatantly eavesdropping on an extremely private moment. Congrats, you li'l lovebirds." (That's how I imagine Bob talks.)

So yeah. Contrary to the title, Bob definitely didn't ruin our proposal; he actually made it more memorable and hilarious. I guess what I'm really trying to say here is try to make people as uncomfortable as possible while they're getting engaged... They'll thank you later. Or never. But maybe later.

Until next time,
Amy

p.s. To help you visualize, I found a picture of the pier. The yellow arrow is roughly where we were; the red circle is where Bob was. Awkwardness ensued.

"Sticks and Stones" and Other Phrases That Make No Sense

 

"Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me." 

I have a few beefs with this phrase. (Also, who came up with THAT phrase? Beef is delicious. Not sure what the problem is here. Seems like it would be a good thing to have a beef with someone, so long as that person is not a vegetarian. Oh, English language, you have done it again!)

So yeah. Who made the "sticks and stones" quote up? Was that person having sticks and stones thrown at him (or her...)? Things that seem like a bad idea to say when someone is throwing things at you: "Sticks and stones may break my bones..." Don't taunt them!! They are already throwing things at you!!
If they weren't throwing sticks/stones at him, I guess they were verbally attacking him and he wanted to prove that their words didn't affect him. 

That's great. That's really great and I wish I was like that, where people's words never hurt me. 
But honestly, I think that's about the most dishonest quote in the world, besides "A penny for your thoughts," because has anyone EVER come through on that statement? Plus, that is literally the smallest amount of change you could give me. Your bribing strategy is terrible.

Words are so powerful. They have the power to do so much good; the power to lift and inspire. Yet they also have the power to cause so much pain.

For example, I'll never forget the boy in 6th grade that said I was fat, or the boy who said to his friend, "You're friends with pretty girls; why are you talking to her?" 

That was 11 years ago, and I can still remember it as vividly as though it were yesterday. That's not to say that you should hold on to things forever and never forgive -- you absolutely SHOULD forgive. And I have. But truthfully, I haven't forgotten and I don't think I ever will. And honestly, it's shaped the way I see myself, even though I really, really wish I could say their words never affected me.

It's not that I don't want to forget. I would love to forget that those things were said about me. I would also love to forget the time that I walked into a stop sign (clearly I was neither graceful NOR obedient...) in front of a bunch of my college peers, but some things just stick with you. But seriously - try as you might to forget, words scar you. 

On the other hand, they can mold and shape your life for so much good. 

When I was a little girl, I remember my grandma said to me, "You have the sweetest disposition. You are so kind and good." She would tell me that nearly every day, and I began to really believe it. My whole life, I have believed that I am, and have tried my very hardest to be, a kind person. 
Would I be that way if no one had ever told me that I was? I don't know. But I'm grateful that someone did -- and I will never forget it. 

I guess the point I'm trying to make is that we have more power than we know. We affect people's lives in ways that most of the time, we probably don't even realize. I can practically guarantee that those boys don't remember telling me I was ugly, and they'd probably feel bad now if they knew they had. But I remember. I remember having to pretend "There's something in my eye; can I please go to the bathroom?" so I could go cry. I remember when my 6th grade teacher said to me, in front of my entire class, "Are you stupid?!"
But I also remember when Sylvia from 5th grade told me I should join choir because I had such a pretty voice. I remember when that boy in high school told me I was funny. I remember when a woman from my mission said that I was sent there just to help her. 

I suppose all I really wanted to say was that you never know what people will remember about what you've said or done... So make it good.

'til next time,
Amy

Easter.

When I think about Easter, I have a few memories that can't help from worming their way to the surface of my mind:

1. Many, many memories of eating ham. I have always hated ham. Literally have nothing good to say about this cut of meat.

2. One time I got a Diva Star (if you don't know what that is, Google it. You won't be sorry. Actually, you might be -- they were kind of freaky looking.) around Easter time. My brother and his friend then took it upon themselves to record a tape of them speaking in low, gravelly voices and put it behind my Diva Star in my bedroom. They timed the tape to go off at a certain point and then, while I was sitting in my room minding my own business, the Diva Star was suddenly, it seemed, talking to me. "Amy -- this is the devil coming to you through your Diva Star."
That's the story of why I have so many nightmares.

Yet most importantly, I can't hear the word Easter without thinking of the most important thing in my life: my Heavenly Father and His perfect Son, Jesus Christ. More specifically, I think about the Atonement and Resurrection of my Lord and Savior.

I am so flawed; so imperfect. I make mistakes and then I make even stupider mistakes... and then I do it all over again. There are times when I feel so scared and alone; times when I wonder if I can possibly make it through another day. There are times when it feels, in the deepest moments of my despair, that no one in the world could possibly understand the pain I'm experiencing. As Elder David A. Bednar said in a talk that changed my life, "No human being, perhaps, knows. But the Son of God perfectly knows and understands, for He felt and bore burdens before we ever did."

Many people know that Jesus Christ took upon Himself our sins (if you don't understand that concept, please ask me OR the missionaries of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints), but not everyone knows that He also took upon Himself our pains, our sorrows, our illnesses.... Every single bad OR good thing that has ever happened to us, Jesus Christ knows and understands because He lived it. He lived it so that He, who was perfect, could find a way out of our sorrows, sins, and pains -- and so that, in effect, we would NEVER be alone because there would always be someone who not only understands us, but can help us. He LITERALLY took upon Himself the exact experiences we have gone through. It's mind-blowing and incredible, but the most amazing and awe-inspiring part of it all is that it is TRUE. I know it's true. Anyone can know it's true.

If you're struggling or you need help to believe this, please don't wait. If you want to believe it, I promise you can. I know you can. Because it IS true and it IS real, and Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ want so badly for you to know that so that They can help you. Ask Them for help. Ask me for help. I promise it's worth every sacrifice you have to make to know that it is true.

Jesus Christ experienced everything that we've felt. On top of that, He was tormented, humiliated, and mocked just for trying to help people. When He went to the Garden of Gethsemane, He, Who had never experienced guilt because He had never done a thing wrong in His life, suddenly felt the weight of not only MY guilt, but the guilt of every single person who has ever lived. I can hardly even begin to fathom how that must have felt. He did it willingly because He loved me. That, to me, is the most beautiful part of it all. He loves me. Me! Imperfect and unworthy as I am, He cared deeply enough for me to suffer the most excruciating pain just so that I would never have to feel alone.

After everything that He did, He was crucified. After every miracle He'd performed; after every life He'd touched; after every heart He had healed -- He was crucified. He, the perfect Son of our Father in Heaven, was killed for nothing more than serving others. He was killed and he was buried, just as we will be. But three days later, He rose again. He lives again. And we will, too.

This life is not the end. There is more, so much more. And it is all possible through Jesus Christ.

I love Him. I love Him for all that He has gone through for me. I love Him for being my friend not only when I do what's right, but when I'm a fool and forget Him and turn aside from His commandments. He is always there, willing to help me get my life back on track. He is always there, waiting and wanting to speak with me.

He is always there because He lives. His life on Earth wasn't the end. I know it.
You can, too.

Until next time,
Amy